Thoughtful – I Suck at Commenting

Posted April 30, 2015 by Emz Chang in Blogging / 6 Comments

thoughtful

I suck at commenting. It’s the truth, no matter how much I try to deny it. I’m terrible at visiting other people’s blogs and commenting there. I’m horrible at replying to comments on this blog. And if I’m being honest, I hate commenting. There, I said it. I hate that I feel like I have to comment. Like it’s another responsibility.

On other blogs

I’m usually shy and reserved and not a conversation starter, but the person who feels a bit forced to carry it (unless of course, it’s something I have knowledge on or am passionate about). When I finish reading posts on other blogs, my first thought is not “what can I say?” but rather “What can I add? What can I contribute to the conversation?”. I need to decide whether its worth it for me to comment or not. I believe no comment at all is better than an insincere one like “Great pick!”.

There’s also the problem of feeling comfortable with commenting. I’ve always been shy and I always have the feeling that I’m being judged by others. I don’t know why I feel that way, but I do. When I comment on other blogs, especially if they are in another “clique” of the blogging world (for example, a non-fiction book blog, whereas I live in the glorious realm of YA), then I’m more picky about what I say.

I’m also really scared of having my words misinterpreted. I’m pretty sarcastic/sassy in real life, which is normally expressed through a series of hand motions, raised eyebrows, and other body language, as well as the tone in my voice. It’s hard to translate all that online and without doing so, its easy for the words, by themselves, to mean something entirely different from what I intended. In short, I’m afraid of offending people, which is also why I’m a bit scared for people to read this post.

Replying Back

I love and appreciate every comment I get. Or at least, I try to. (It’s kind of hard to love two word comments like “Great haul!”). Getting one genuine comment can make my day but I’m just as bad as replying to comments as I am with commenting on other blogs. I think it’s primarily because while I do read every single comment, I don’t always have the time to respond to them right away. And afterwords, it just seems like a chore to do so. Especially if I let them all pile up. By then, I really don’t want to reply but I feel like I have which just makes me feel even worse. For every comment I fail to respond to (which is a lot, by the way), I feel like I’m failing as a blogger. Not only can I not thank other people for taking their time to comment on my blog, but everything I can/do say feels forced and not genuine at all.

I love engaging in a conversation with my readers. I love interacting with you guys. But really, what can you say to a comment like “Great haul!” besides something as equality as boring as “Thanks for stopping by!”? And how many people actually respond back to a reply? Not many, if any at all. And then there’s the fact that a lot of times, I have nothing to add to the convo… All I can say is what I already said in the post or what the commentator said in her comment.

What is your take on comments and commenting?
Do you have any tips for me to try to make commenting easier?
Or to make them feel less like a chore and forced?

Emz Chang

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6 responses to “Thoughtful – I Suck at Commenting

  1. I agree! Commenting is such a difficult thing to do. I have a hard time coming up with something constructive to add besides “I agree” or “Thanks for stopping by.” I wish I had tips to give you, but I think I could use tips myself. Haha! I like to think that my blog readers don’t need me to reply to their comments all the time, especially if it’s just a “great haul” type of comment. I usually strive to go back to their blog and comment on one of their posts instead. Plus, it’s true that most times I don’t go back and reply to a reply of a comment I left.

  2. I noticed heh. No I feel you, it isn’t easy to come up with something unique to add to the conversation. Sometimes I just comment that I really liked the post and what specifically called out to me, and to let them know I’m sharing the post. Sometimes it is enough to just acknowledge that you read and enjoyed the post.

  3. I think I’m pretty much the same as you – I absolutely love receiving comments, but I kind of hate replying to them! Something that’s really helped re: commenting on others’ blogs, though, is to just take 100% of the pressure off of my shoulders. I’ve made a promise to myself that I will not comment on others’ blog posts unless I truly have something meaningful to add to the discussion, and it really helps me not only worry about what I should say if that’s not the case, but also formulate significant comments that people enjoy receiving… rather than just “great post”! 😉

  4. Oh, PLEASE don’t be so hard on yourself! I’m a super shy person too, and I find it hard to open up a conversation… but everytime you post something, that’s exactly what you’re doing. It’s what ANYONE who blogs is doing. I try to ensure my comments are relevant, but sometimes it’s hard. Also, I find there is a lot of pressure to comment on ALL the blogs, and sometimes I just end up getting bored… so my comments inevitably become more boring. It’s a tough one to call!

    And as for people misunderstanding you… I’ve found that sometimes people on the interwebz are spoiling for a fight. Sometimes people will twist your words because it suits them. If it upsets you, you can either ignore it, or you can respond with a simple comment about not wanting to cause offence.

    Keep on commenting, you’re doing fine!

    Beth x

  5. I can totally understand what you mean and I still feel a bit hesistant with every comment I write. In the end I think for me commenting a lot helped to get better at it, after postign a lot of comments and realizing peopel don’t find my comments stupid or get offended it get’s easier to leave more comments. It’s the the more I comment, the easier it gets, but it also depends on my mood. I have what i call my commentign mood when commenting is easy, but it can also be hard soem days and then i really have to force the words out and think long and hard about what to say. Commenting is hard, but I also think it can be very rewarding. I have had a few miscommunication issues, but you can always reply again to clear them up, it is a bit awkward though. Or mayeb use *sarcasm* to indicate your comment is sarcastic, it’s not the same, but maybe it helps. I try to reply to all the comments on my blog within in a day, because like you said if they pile up it feels like a chore. Just keep on commenting and hopefullt it get’s easier with time! I don’t think there’s really a right or wrong way to comment, just comment how you feel comfortable.

  6. I totally agree that no comment is better than an insincere comment or a comment just to say something. I’ll usually comment on posts that either speak to me or when I really feel I have something to say.
    I do try to reply to all comments on my own blog though. It’s a tricky one, commenting.