As much as it pains me to admit it, I’ve been struggling with blogger burnout for a while. I had trouble writing posts and coming up with new ideas. Even when I could finally type something out, I was never really satisfied with it. But I still hit the publish button. And now I feel like I’ve not only let myself down by valuing quantity over quality, but I also let other people down.
When I caught a cold a few weeks ago (yes, I can get sick in the summer), I took that as a excuse why I should step away from the blog for a bit. The only thing is, I’ve been better for two weeks and this is my first post since then. Why?
Lack of Inspiration & Originality
The posts I love writing the most are my discussion posts. The problem is, I’m having trouble coming up with new topics to discuss. I don’t want to talk about the same old things, I want to talk about something new.
Drowning in Expectations
Sometimes it feels like I’m on a little raft trying to stay afloat in a great big sea of expectations. And the sad truth is, most of the expectations in that sea, are my own. I feel like I have to have a post schedule and stick with it. I feel like I have to reply to every comment and comment back (which I suck at so badly). I feel like I have do a lot of things, not because my readers told me, but because I’ve read so many blog posts about what you’re supposed to do as a blogger that I’ve created those expectations for myself. And they are eating me up. My worst fear is failing and letting people down. And right now, it feels like I’m doing just that.
My unexpected time away from blogging made me realize just how much time I dedicate to it. Between thinking of ideas, writing the post, and creating a post image, I don’t have a lot of time to do other things. I think one of the reasons why it was so hard for me to come back to blogging was I realized how much more time I have without it. I have more time to read, more time to sleep, more time to watch random YouTube videos…
On a more cheery note (that was rather depressing), this is not goodbye.
I’m a rising high school senior, which in the US, means it’s about time to start applying to colleges. Between that (there are soooo many essays I need to write) and the courses I’ll be taking I don’t think I’ll be very dedicated to blogging. But I have decided not to take a hiatus…kind of. Basically, I’ve just decided to revert back to how I used to blog when I only had ten followers – sporadically and with love. Screw the post schedule and scheduled posts. That hasn’t really been working out for me because I don’t have a lot of time and it’s only going to get worst.
I decided I want to keep blogging because it’s something I once really loved to do and I’m not about to let that love fade just because I have poor time management skills. (I’m working on it, I promise!) And I decided if I was going to keep doing it, I was going to do it right. More meaningful posts that I would be proud of. More replying to comments and commenting back. More interaction with other bloggers and readers. More reading other blogs. Less filler content. I don’t care if I lose followers for going a bit wacko. At least I can be proud of myself.
I don’t quite know how all that is going to work out, but who will until I try. Hopefully people will still stick around to find out, but if not, I get it.